If the Rain Must Fall ...

I was listening to this song the other day and for the first time it `grabbed`my heart strings!! The rain may fall in our lives and :

Oh life can be strange
Good and bad in so many ways
And in time you will find
That things are not always what they seem ...

Words from - James Morrison - If the Rain Must fall:

But if the rain must fall
If I lose it all
If the world comes down
and takes my soul
And theres no, no way back
It won't matter much to me
If I had you
All I need is your love
That's all I need
All I need is your love ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqJyz1lPN7U

Without the love and support of others then this cancer would have been nothing but a BIG grey cloud, but thankfully times have not all been grey and as a family we have still had sunshine, happiness and a dash of madness.

I especially dedicate this song to Andrew; who has shared in my `rain`and still given me love, David and Harriet for continuing to make me smile, love and share happy times. A special mention to `looking good Babe` for helping me to laugh in the face of the silly cancer.

So lets continue to party to the end ....and mines a large Cabernet savignon please!!

Love
Kathryn X

Well what can you say??

Felt quite strange when I was told at the Marsden in December that my disease was `stable`at the moment. What does that mean? - well nothing much is happening as far as they are concerned and the CT shows very little or no change. However I did not jump up and down with glee (no not the singing programme type), but felt rather deflated. Why? - because I have been here before and it never seems that long until this damn cancer does throw something back at me. Also to be honest it did not help that we had lost three friends (who I had made through setting up the East Midlands Sarcoma Support Group), to this damn disease in the short time period of 8 weeks. So how come I am so good at cheating death at the moment?? Though to be honest I can not dwell on this for a long time as I am happy to be alive, laughing and loving and do not want to waste precious time. Those that we have lost were people that `lived life`and enjoyed it and we joked that the party must go on if someone dies. I truly believe that those that we love never leave our hearts.

So a couple of weeks ago I was feeling increasingly breathless (walking 100yards or upstairs), went to the doctors hoping to get some `magical`antibiotic. NO, that was not for me - so I go back to the Oncologist and they suggest an emergency CT scan (well as an outpatient that is within 2 weeks); so once again I am back to being a medical mystery!! At this point I would like to swear but you will not be able to hear me, so I will simply say "crap!!".

I have kept this new information rather quiet, because life is not just about me - David and Harriet still have exams, Andrew is just changing jobs and the cooking, shopping and general everyday life still goes on (with its little hiccups and concerns). So if you read this and think that I am being brave, just remember that I am human and still get upset / sad.
But I also want to share in your life experiences whether that be good news or bad, laughing or crying, and do not forget the partying.

Love

Kathryn X

p.s. Andrew has man flu, but is still giving me cuddles, laughing and sharing jokes with me and the kids. I love him so much XXX